2015: A Year Of Goodbyes

When the end begins
say goodbye
to all regrets.
To the “yes
you never said.

Don’t feel bad
for mistakes
you need no longer make.
You’ve committed them all
if that’s even possible.

Adjust your sails
trim them tight
the ocean’s wide
allow its depths
to swallow
begotten sorrows.

Behold magnificence
almost in sight.

Cut all ties
to your sorry past.
If nothing more
just be glad
it didn’t last.

Ever mindful
eternally grateful
for what has passed.

Belong to no one.
Gather together
all the pieces of you.

Tattered bits
unwanted parts
scattered in the winds.
Accept and embrace
they were you.

Make whole
the holiness
that is you.

throw wide open
all the windows
leading to your heart.
Release her.

Make all your faces fit
the you
you hardly knew.

Resist the need
to rekindle ties
which no longer bind.

Make room for new loves.
they do exist.

Create pockets of passion
allow them to blossom
in intoxicating fashion.

Conform to no one.
Compromise with nothing.

The year of goodbyes
is almost over.
Dry those tears.
Confound your fears.

Behold thy future:

The Grace Of An Illness (Part II)

“If we desire true healing, then we must dig deeper. Deep within. Down to the very depths of soul, of being.”

Bleeding Heart
Bleeding Heart

“I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul,
    to the deep emotional self
and the wounds to the soul take a long, long time,
    only time can help
and patience, and a certain difficult repentance,
long, difficult repentance, realization of life’s mistake,
    and the freeing oneself
from the endless repetition of the mistake
which mankind at large has chosen to sanctify.
                            ~D.H. Lawrence

The agony of watching a beloved suffer knows no boundaries. Words are worthless.

In the silence, there’s only the bewildered mind questioning. All the ‘whys’ come flooding in, inundating one’s mind, welcoming insanity.

A bleeding heart takes time to heal, if it ever does.

There are no abiding answers, for cures elude us. Solutions are mere palliatives, band-aids, easily discarded for ever more lethal~exorbitant~treatments.

In the end, there’s really nowhere else to go. No place we’d gladly be.

So why bother? Why boggle the mind?

Because we desire comfort, ease, a pain~free transition to life’s next phase for the beloved. Because it tears us apart to witness their torment.

Because we fear what our own future holds. Were we to suffer a similar fate, wouldn’t it be better to simply pull the trigger?

Because illness has a way of making even the innocent feel guilty. The lily~pure dirty. And we the sinners? We look doom in the face and promise repentance.

Do we truly mean it?